Parenting with Influence: Exploring the impact of Modeling Behavior for Children's Development
Aug 18, 2023
Babies and children rely on their intuition to make sense of what is going on in their world. Since they do not have a full vocabulary (if at all) and are less dependent on their analytical brain (the thinking brain), they mostly depend on their gut, or their perception of what is happening in their world, for feedback.
Bruce H. Lipton, Ph.D. is an internationally recognized leader in bridging science and spirit. He claims that children under the age of 7 (at least) learn mainly through observation and imitation. He states "The most important thing we need to understand as parents is that everything we say and do for the first seven years of our children’s lives is being recorded and will become their beliefs and behaviors." In his research, he notes "Infants are particularly adept at interpreting parental facial characters in discriminating the positive or negative nature of a new stimulus. When an infant encounters new environmental features, it generally focuses first on the parent’s expression in learning how to respond." (https://www.brucelipton.com/)
As parents, we are constantly on the radar. Our children are scanning the environment on a continuum, internalizing our body language, our mannerisms, our facial expressions, our pace and disposition, our energy and confidence levels, and our tone of voice...everything BUT our words. Through this innate way of processing and learning, children gather information from their outside world, recognize patterns of behavior, and then form their own behaviors which enables them to get their physical and emotional needs met. Our children are looking for a solid entity to connect to, someone leading with authenticity, love, calm, and inner stability. By putting ourselves in the spotlight, we can consciously and deliberately model our behaviors and responses according to our truths and values. By responding, rather than reacting, we approach our children with full intention and keep our focus on where we are going while trusting the process. We are not looking for quick fixes, rather we are investing in cultivating a healthy relationship with our children over the course of our lifetimes, where the connection and safety allow for influence to take place while keeping everyone's dignity intact.
So, if your child selectively cooperates or not, (depending on who is in front of them), or expresses undesired behaviors, turn inwards, and put yourself in the spotlight.
Look at YOUR body language and facial expressions, YOUR confidence, YOUR skepticism and hesitation, YOUR disposition, YOUR patience level, and overall vibe, and YOUR knee-jerk reactions in times of stress. You will gain insight and direction that will allow you to fine-tune your position as the ultimate role model for your child. Not only will that change the dynamics between you and your child, but it will change YOUR confidence as a parent.
And that my friends, is the name of the game!
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