The Power of Intention: Turning Inward and Choosing Kindness for Yourself First

What is intention?
Most people think of intention as deciding what we want and focusing on it. That sounds simple enough, but reality doesn’t always go according to plan. As a mother, for example, I might set the intention for an easy bedtime. But my reality is often quite different; bedtime becomes a long, drawn-out process, filled with struggles that make me question whether setting intention has any real impact.

I choose to define intention differently. For me, it’s not about controlling outcomes; it’s about deciding how I want to show up in challenging situations. It’s personal, within my control, and always accessible. Instead of focusing solely on achieving a specific result, like a smooth bedtime, I shift my intention to how I, as the parent and facilitator, elect to respond. How I decide to engage, guide, and hold space during difficult moments shapes the experience for both my child and me. It empowers me in my role, rather than leaving me feeling like a victim of my circumstances. This shift in perspective allows me to turn my focus inward, toward myself, where I can influence the situation every time by choosing to be intentional.

Setting intention helps us remember that we are always at the center of our choices. In any situation, whether mundane, exciting, or challenging, the focus shifts inward, on how to honor ourselves and act per our values. It’s about recognizing that every decision begins with turning toward ourselves and asking:

How do I want to show up in this situation? Can I stay focused on myself throughout the challenge and muster the backbone to stay in line with my values when the going gets tough?  What is the kindest, most compassionate action I can take for me right now?

This inward focus becomes our anchor, helping us show up in every moment with authenticity and care.

So, How Do We Set Intention?

Setting an intention involves layers of awareness and focus. To make it easier to remember, I’ve created this helpful acronym:

I.N.T.E.N.T.

1. I – Identify the Opportunity: Pause and become aware of the choices available to you in the moment (or even before the moment, if you are anticipating a situation).
2. N – Nurture Your Vision: Use imagination to picture and feel what your intention looks like, letting it take shape in your mind.
3. T – Turn Inward: Align with love by asking, Is this choice kind towards me (first)? Am I moving closer to myself or away?
4. E – Embrace Surrender: Release control of the outcome, focusing instead on how you want to show up authentically for yourself.
5. N – Nurture Your Focus: Gently hold your intention in mind, using it as a guide through challenging moments.
6. T – Trust the Process: Allow your intention to guide your actions with grace, trusting that inward alignment will be the most beneficial for everyone involved.

What am I putting focus on?
Your focus is a powerful tool. Are you centering your energy on fear, doubt, or frustration? Are you focusing outside of yourself, on what you think others want or expect of you? Are you trying to prevent certain outcomes, focusing on what you don’t want to happen? Or are you directing your focus inwards, toward yourself, with love, kindness, and understanding? Choosing a loving intention toward yourself shifts your perspective. Instead of resisting challenges, you create a space to respond thoughtfully and intentionally while acting in line with your truth.

An Example: A Child Resisting Sleep

Let’s go back to our original example of a bedtime struggle, where your child refuses to go to sleep. After a while, you’re drained, frustrated, and tempted to react out of irritation. This is where intention becomes your ally.

1. Pause and Notice – Recognize your emotions. Maybe you're feeling exhausted, annoyed, or even helpless. Instead of pushing those feelings away, accept them with kindness.
2. Set an Intention – Remind yourself that you can choose to respond with love, for yourself, your child, and your family. You might think, My intention is to create a calm, centered, and focused bedtime in this moment.
3.  *Spotlight on ME– Recognize that your well-being is essential to how you show up for your child. If you’re overwhelmed by frustration or exhaustion, the real solution may be understanding that your needs must come first. When your tank is empty, there’s no one to confidently lead through bedtime struggles. By prioritizing your well-being, whether that means committing to earlier bedtimes this week to maximize your sleep, sharing the load with your partner to create space for your needs, or seeking support to ease the learning process for you and your child—you can show up with clarity, strength, and kindness. You also model a healthy relationship with yourself, teaching your child the importance of self-care and balance.
4. Enter the Spirit of the Intention – Once you’ve aligned with loving-kindness, it's time to actively embody your intention. Approach the situation with your goal in mind, modeling calmness and love for your child. Offer reassurance and comfort without wavering from the boundary that it’s time for sleep. In this moment, your actions reinforce the energy you want to create, helping both you and your child feel grounded.

Final Thoughts

Intention is a practice, not a one-time act. It invites us to slow down, focus on ourselves, listen to our inner voice, and consciously choose a path that aligns with love and kindness. Whether it's navigating a child’s bedtime struggle, engaging in a challenging conversation, or simply reflecting in a quiet moment, every choice becomes an opportunity to act in alignment with our values.

When we choose to act out of love and kindness toward ourselves, we shift the focus away from fear or the need to control outcomes. This shift empowers us to prioritize self-nurturing and kindness, rather than reacting out of a desire to avoid unwanted results. By honoring ourselves in this way, we build a foundation of inner harmony that naturally extends to those around us.

Today, take a moment to pause and reflect: How did I use intention in a kind way toward myself? And how can I continue to use intention to support my well-being moving forward? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this topic.

*Spotlight on ME- A fundamental principle from The GPS Within