Last night, we planned something simple yet special: a schnitzel night to welcome home my oldest daughter and her husband, who had just returned from celebrating their first wedding anniversary in Italy. I was in the middle of preparing dinner when a siren went off. Instantly, everything was dropped, and we rushed down to the safe room.

As we scrambled downstairs, our neighbor’s babysitter opened the door, panic written on her face. She was just sixteen, in charge of four little ones all under the age of six. “They’re all sleeping; can you please help me?” she pleaded. My family and I hurried in, gently lifting the children from their beds. Some stayed drowsy, one didn’t even wake, but the two-year-old in my arms jolted awake, disoriented and upset. He began crying out for his Abba (daddy), unsure of what was happening.

In that moment, as we rushed into the safe room, I reminded myself of everything I teach parents about moments of struggle, whether bedtime battles, nighttime wakings, or sudden chaos. Stay calm. Slow down. Regulate myself first. Speak softly. Move gently. Orient him calmly, one step at a time, without overwhelming him. As I held him close, I reassured him: There is a siren, and you are safe. We will be back home soon. He cried for his daddy, and I validated that longing while giving him something steady to lean on.

And then, in the middle of it all, as we were waiting for the all clear, he suddenly vomited all over both of us. Everyone looked at me, he panicked, and yet the only thing that came to mind was: stay calm. It’s okay. I told him we would soon get him cleaned up and kept him close to me. Once the all-clear sounded, I asked the babysitter for fresh clothes and took him to the bath. Step by step, I explained everything: we’re taking off your clothes now, here’s the warm water, let’s see how the soap feels. I wanted him to know he wasn’t being rushed or shlepped around, he was being respected (I talk more about this in my video You Set the Tone), and that everything was going to be okay. By the end, wrapped in a towel and smelling fresh, he was calmer, listening, and a little more curious. After he was dressed, I held him close and showed him, one by one, that all of his siblings were already back in bed. When I asked if he wanted me to keep holding him or lie in his bed, he hesitated a bit and then pointed to his bed. I tucked him in with a fresh blanket, stroked his face, reminded him he was safe, and that his parents were on their way. He accepted, sadness and all.

The babysitter turned to me afterward and said, “Oh my gosh, thank you. I would never have managed all four sleeping kids on my own, let alone this.” Later, back at dinner, my own family reflected on what they’d just witnessed. My daughter said it was profound to see how staying calm in chaos became the anchor, steadying not only the child but everyone caught in that moment. It made it possible for them to lean on my calm instead of spiraling into panic.

That night reminded me of something essential. Life with little ones - whether it’s bedtime battles, tantrums that end in tears (watch my video on crying here ), or midnight wake-ups that leave everyone exhausted- will always hold unexpected moments. These aren’t signs of bad parenting; they’re opportunities to show up as the leader, to reveal who we want to be in those moments. What matters is how we steady ourselves. Can we be the anchor? Can we turn our attention to how we want to show up instead of getting swept into the situation or into our child’s big emotions in real time? Can we stay centered so they can find calm in us, even when they’re not okay and everything around feels chaotic?

Parenting isn’t about controlling outcomes. It’s about turning inward, finding our center, and trusting that our calm and certainty will be the anchor. When we do that, our children don’t just survive the hard moments; they walk away with their dignity intact, feeling safe, even though their own emotions momentarily spiraled out of control.

And if bedtime battles or frequent night wakings still feel overwhelming in your home,  you don’t have to do it alone. You can take your next step right now: watch more practical tips on my YouTube channel and subscribe so you never miss a new video. Or begin with my free video workshop: The 3 Reasons Your Child Isn’t Sleeping Through the Night.